The chancellor George Osborne would like you to know that the gender pay gap is narrower than ever before. Well, woo and indeed hoo. Great to know that while women continue to be paid less than men for doing the same work, it’s less of less than it was before. Excuse us while we don’t keel over in gratitude.

Meanwhile, here’s what else George had in store for you in yesterday's budget:

Your hangover Coke is going to cost more…

There’s going to be a sugar tax on soft drinks containing more than 5g of sugar per 100ml, with an extra levy for drinks with over 8g of sugar, starting in two years.

… But your post-gym smoothie won’t

Yes, fruit juice might be packed with sugar too but it remains sugar-tax free.

You might pay a bit less tax

You’ll have to earn at least £11,500 to pay tax at all (it’s £10,800 in this coming tax year) and you can earn up to £45,000 before you start paying the 40p ‘higher rate’ of tax (£42,385 from this year).

The government would really like you to save some money please

Specifically targeting younger people, the government has introduced the ‘lifetime ISA’. Anyone under 40 can save up to £4000 a year, tax free, and the government will give you a bonus of £1 for every £4 you put in, until you turn 50. You can also have a regular ISA in which you can now save up to £20,000 (up from £15,000) a year tax free.

If you’re a driver

You should be happy – there’s no increase in fuel duty.

And if you’re a drinker

You should be even more happy – there’s no increase in duty on beer, cider and whisky.

If you're a drinker AND a driver

You're a danger to yourself and others. Stop it.

We’re still paying tax on tampons

Though £12m of the money raised is going to women’s charities so… that’s a good thing?