Meghan Markle Says ‘I Was Really Ashamed’ To ‘Admit’ Mental Battle To Prince Harry

Ahead of the release of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's long-awaited Netflix documentary on Thursday, the duchess has opened about her struggle with suicidal thoughts.

This was while at the Robert F. Kennedy Ripple of Hope Award Gala, where she and the duke accepted an accolade for their work around issues such as racial injustice and mental health.

As per the Daily Mail, Markle admitted to feeling 'ashamed' about telling Prince Harry about her mental health battle.

With the duke by her side, the 41-year-old said: 'Look, I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, because I know how much loss he has suffered, but I knew that if I didn't say it, then I would do it. I just didn't want to be alive anymore.'

She continued: 'But ultimately, if you feel like there's someone else that has a lived experience. They've gotten to the other side, and gave example of resilience, an example of "there is a happy ending", I think that's what most people are probably seeking out in those moments.

'And that's why I made the decision to just say "if my experience can help someone else not feel the same way or to know that there's hope, then it's worth every second of whatever comes with it."'

The mother-of-two explained that her decision to publicly share her mental struggle during a March 2021 sit-down interview with Oprah Winfrey, was because 'I don't want anyone to feel alone'.

She said mental health issues can be most problematic when 'you don't see a way out' and highlighted that many people struggled when they were isolated during COVID-19 lockdowns.

Opening up about the period during which she contemplated ending her life, while working as a senior member of the royal family and living inside the palace, Markle said: 'It wasn't an easy decision to make, as you can imagine.'

She continued: 'We all need to, when we can, if we feel brave enough, to just speak honestly about your own experience.

'It gives other people space and the courage to do the same, but more than that to really feel like you're not alone, because I think that is often what can be the largest hindrance when you feel that way, you don't see a way out.'

During a lighter moment on stage, Prince Harry spoke to Robert F Kennedy Human Rights Foundation president Kerry Kennedy (who previously honoured the couple's 'moral courage') about their 'date night'.

He shared: 'I'll be honest with you Kerry I just thought we were just going on a date night so I found it quite weird that we're sharing the room with 1,500 people.

'We don't get out much these days because our kids are so small and young so, this is completely unexpected.'

He added: 'But it's nice to share date night with all of you, so thank you for coming.'

Markle said: 'Thank you for bringing me on this very special date night,' and Prince Harry replied: 'You're welcome.'

The likes of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are among the former recipients of the award from the Robert F Kennedy Human Rights Foundation.

Sakaynah Hunter

Former News Editor

Sakaynah Hunter was the former Digital News Editor at ELLE.